What to do? What to do?
Actually let’s rewind, I want to officially announce that I am over the last guy I was with. Done. Over. In the past. The only emotion I have left is scared. I can’t even leave my house without looking over my shoulder. But knowing that I have a huge support system helps that.
Okay, so now that I can do whatever I want, with who ever I want, what am I supposed to do. Relationships don’t just show up on your door step. And the fact of the matter is, a lot of people I know, and am friends with, my ex knows too. So how do I get past all that?
Whatever. I’m probably moving too fast. Things will help in due time. I need to stop thinking everything needs to happen in a certain time.
This is not where I thought this was going, but maybe I needed to get myself here.
Number 1-i want my computer back. Or a new computer. A mac preferably.
Number 2-i miss my mom and I miss someone else. Its not even that I know who the someone else is. Its just the fact that I hate being alone on days like this. Its awesome outside, I don’t have to work all day, and I’m home alone.
Number 3-my phone is being a pos and its driving me nuts. Maybe I should get an iphone and be completely apple based.
Number 4-has anyone stopped to think how different your life would be if you took a different path? Such as, what would be different in my life if instead of being a dancer I was a gymnast? Would I still know the same people? Would I have gotten in the same spats with my parents? Would I have dated the same people? Or would we even be living in norfolk anymore, if I would have been good at it….
I know there’s no sense in looking back because its over and all we can do is look to the future. But its still kind weird to sit (or lay) here and wonder. Especially while I have 100 other things on my mind.
So I’m here, trying to figure this out. Why is my thing called “untitled”? I don’t like it.
Also, how do you make someone just go away? I understand you can delete and block on facebook and block text and calls, but that just makes them unable to reach you. Not unable to find or the slim chance of running into.
Still scared to be alone. Thank god for my big red family thatd back me up if he ever came here…
Tonight I feel like I should thank you for multiple (important) things.
One, my family and friends. I wouldn’t be anywhere without them.
Two, all the trials you have put me through, I truly appreciate. Thank you for giving me the strength to go through them all, not always with grace, but getting through them is enough, especially with your help. I also thank you for believing in my enough to put me in those situations and rise to the occasion.
In the end, I want to thank you for life in itself. This gift you have given me is so precious and not to be taken lightly. I am excited to go through it with you and find my calling, whatever that may be.
To sum up, thank you. That is all, thank you.
In you name I pray.